Saturday, 5 September 2015

RECLASSIFY YOUR FRIENDS



Just like it takes two to tango, friendship too is a two way thing. 
According to Judith Viorst, we have other kinds of friends like-

CONVENIENCE FRIENDS- we do not know much about them. They are ACQUAINTANCES we call friends. We relate with them out of convenience like our Facebook friends, and other social network friends, lodge-mates, school mates and neighbours.

CLOSE FRIENDS- we reveal our private selves to them. They contribute to our personal growth. Distance could make you lose them. They are your friends due to proximity and communication. They could be your classmates, workmates, or playmates.

SPECIAL INTEREST FRIENDS- we share same goals with them at a particular time. This friendship does not last. Example FFF- friends for food, weight-loss partner, job hunting partner, admission seeking friends, clubbing friends.


HISTORICAL FRIENDS- we share similar pasts like when you first fell a teeth, when you were living in a public house, when you first lost your vee and stuffs like that.you are still intimate as the days go by. They are SISTERS WITHOUT SIBLING RIVALRY. When you meet them after a long time, it feels like you have been there all along.

CROSSROAD FRIENDS- they are powerful friends we meet at a very crucial point in our lives like delivery/birth time, picnic friends, etc.. We keep in touch through calls, texts and letters


CROSS GENERATIONAL FRIENDS- this is a lovely kind of friendship that involves people from different age groups, like the bond between mother and child, aged and teenager, senior and junior. This kind of friendship permits the share and exchange of wisdom and knowledge


PART OF A COUPLE FRIENDS- they are reluctant friends. We can do without them. They are there due to circumstances like marriage. When your husband's friends' wives have to be your friend.


MEN WHO ARE FRIENDS- they are friends who are closer than our boyfriends or husbands. They are total inevitable.


MEDIUM FRIENDS- we can tell our medium friends that you are hungry


PRETTY GOOD FRIENDS- we can tell them we are broke that is why we can not feed.


VERY Good FRIENDS- we can explain the extend of our brokenness.


BEST OF FRIENDS- bares their souls to themselves like toddlers, letting themselves into each other.
Friendship is defined by our level of intimacy. I cannot but shed tears when a close friend suddenly becomes a convenience friend... But we still cannot make old friends.
I love my friends... All of the types. Where do you fall in???

Thursday, 3 September 2015

TIME TO CLASSIFY YOUR FRIENDS...

The HOLY BIBLE says a friend sticketh closer than a sister, while in a real world, friendship has to do with sacrifices. 
According to Amarachi Chukwunyere, (2012); "there must exist a fool in every friendship." hmm! Now that is deep! Survey your friendship and find out your role. Are you the fool or the wise? Lol! Lest I forget. It is the fool that keeps a friendship stronger because two wise men can never make a strong bond. It would never last. “Over sabi” go kill them. If your relationship just got weak overtime, just know that the fool only got wiser...
Another category of friendship is the Old friends and the new friends. We make new friends everyday but "we can't make old friends" Dolly Parton. 
Old friends are always the best. Our first friends are the best of them all.
This article is too long... I will continue in the next post. Hehehe. So are you the fool in your relationship? Are u missing someone who you imagine does not miss you back... this is the only reason. You are either the fool or the person is

WHY YOUR SON ACTS THE WAY HE DOES

I am very sure that you have been worried sick over his elicit and unobtrusive behaviour of recent.
 Here is the bitter truth, you just recreated a schizoid son.
You have indirectly created this social self in him;
a recognition of himself based only on what you have instilled in him.
You have carved a super-ego in him that mandates him to conform to the family standards.
You have given him a direct blow on his self-esteem.
You have abused him and compared him with his mates because you find him not good enough (comparison is a thief of joy- Theodore Roosevelt)
You have incessantly shown him derogatory attitudes and asperity because of his one mistake
And you expect him not to withdraw into his shell and lock up.
You show an open preference for his siblings and expect him not to undermine his security and double his efforts to outshine them?
As a result, he has developed this masochistic trends and you are worried
He does not depend on you now any more but on others - his peer group (your thought exactly)

And you think ' so what's new in the whiskey business?'
Come on! Resist the use of such blunt and incendiary words. They are alive and highly inflammatory. Use prayers and love on him before you irrevocably have for yourself, a narcissistic son incapable of loving either himself or anyone else.

Monday, 8 June 2015

THE ROLE OF THE YOUTH IN IMPROVING NIGERIA’S EDUCATIONAL SECTOR

That we can do a great deal for the sorry state of Nigerian education with more money is generally accepted. Which would go a long way in increasing the salary of teachers; reducing class size by ten (10%) percent, or increasing the number of teachers by the same percentage. But the occasional visitor to the Nigerian schools would note some changes that would cost much less, nothing at all, or even save money – and yet would improve at least the educational environment in Nigerian schools, should the youth be seen as empowered as objects of change and development needed in the educational sector.
                Youth comes with vitality and strength. One cannot mention development without mentioning the young vibrate youth; because they are the backbone of every society. According to the United Nations; youth is time between childhood and adulthood. And the process called youth are within the age bracket of fifteen (15) – twenty five (25) years of age.
                The prominent role the youth has to play in the educational sector in Nigeria cannot be over-emphasized, as the youth also include secondary school students and the university graduates and undergraduates like myself. We do not have to wait on the government to provide us with the necessary infrastructures before the change we need in the educational sector is seen. And the journey to this epoch transformation begins with self.
                We have to play our own role in the educational sector as we have become privileged to attend school. All tanks to the white men who brought in education and our parents who have supported the idea. It is one thing to be in school and it is another thing to pass through it.
Like an adage says “what is worth doing, is worth doing well”. Education is good, but having a sound education is awesome. Therefore, the only way to have an awesome education is to graduate with good results which only can be attained by studying. Most students in our present generation prefer every other activity in school except the sole aim of schooling which is to study. We cannot be called scholars if we do not study; even the Bible advises that we should study to show ourselves approved.
If Wole Soyinka, Chimamanda Adichie and the Late Chinua Achebe did not study in the young days of their youth, they would not have attained the insurmountable heights they have attained today.
Unlike the scholars of those days, the youth like myself cannot even say my times table off hand  without consulting the back cover of my 60 (sixty) leaves exercise book or my calculator, we cannot even spell and write words correctly without referring to our dictionaries or our personal computers like handsets and IPads. We now prefer to study on the net which could divert our minds to some pornographic contents or even expose us to misinformed articles written by hunger authors and worst of all damage our precious sight due to the constant exposure of harmful rays from the computer/digital device screen; instead of study in a well-equipped and conducive library like the Professors Kenneth Dike’s library in school, which has helped a lot of students with their research and assignment.
                The youth see to the welfare of their fellow youth in school. Through their participation in the students’ Union Government, the needs of some less privileged youth have been met. The Union’s leader like Comrade Noble Eyisi in Nnamdi Azikiwe University here, has added seeing to our welfare through the reduction of the bus fare inside the school and the failed reduction of the food price. Even the Executives like the amiable secretary General Comrade Arinze has helped improved to an extent the educational sector through his intellectual competition on hold today.
                This should be an eye-opener to certain youth on campus whose family wealth or personal wealth have become an avenue to commit atrocities in school by joining cultism and spending extravagantly in club houses and food joints on their fellow youth instead of sponsoring intellectual contests in their various department and facilities with some money.
With the experience of youth outside the walls of the school, they make good academic contributions. There is no much formalities about education, because we receive education everywhere. We get education through socialization in schools, homes, churches, markets and gatherings. In as much as social life can distract a student from his studies, students who are opportune to work, while in school, due to some financial problems or personal reasons work harder to meet up with his/her academic needs and still perform better in the course he/she is studying. In addition to that, their experiences in their place of work, especially, works relating to their choice of course like a student of Banking and Finance working in the bank, serves as a bonus to the student as he has been exposed to the practical aspect of the course, unlike the students, who study strictly without working. To prevent distractions, students who work should try hard to create a balance between studies and work.
The value system of youths goes a long way in improving the academic system too. Late Chinua Achebe, a popular literature explained in his book “There Was A Country”, the high value of education in his generation. He had gotten admission into two different universities from which he chose the one that best suited him. Back then, educated people were highly revered. Now, the reverse is the case; many students just come to school without gaining the necessary knowledge. It is also important for youths to know that no discipline is higher than the other, and if by peradventure we feel ours is simpler than professional courses, we might as well come out with a first class or second class upper in the so called inferior course to obtain certificates and go away. That is why the cases of exam malpractice and corruption in the educational sector have increased rapidly.
The baton is in our hand; it’s high time we arose and said no to cheating and sorting. Its time we have a positive attitude towards learning. It is time we valued the knowledge we acquire in school, not the paper “certificate” we’ll obtain in the end. It is also important to note that lecturers who fall into the youth age bracket can go a long way in encouraging the right value system by saying no to sorting and cheating and by encouraging hard work by giving students’ scores due to them.
The youth should beat the parents’ choice, especially in terms of course and university choice. The aim of man is to achieve comfort and peace of mind. This means that when we follow others’ choice, we may end up being uncomfortable and disturbed for the rest of our lives. Most youths follow their parental choice of course and school which has left a billion graduates in Nigeria jobless and a graduate of a particular course like law doing music in the society like Charly Boy and Chimamanda Adichie who against the choice of their parents to study medicine has become a prolific writer today. She made her choice and she has peace of mind. Now, it is up to the youth to rise up to the occasion and say No to parental choices that affects our passion and talent. It would have been disastrous for me if my parents had forced me to study medicine when I am crazy about fine and Applied Arts.
                I strongly believe that when the youth make the desired right choice of discipline, I believe they will become better, attend lectures and participate actively in school without following shortcuts and being nonchalant about the goings on the school because their dreams have been dashed.

                                                                                                            OSINACHI OKAFOR

Friday, 5 June 2015

THE PERFECT CRUSH

Oh! What novelty to a brand life
What asperity to a crude and yet so tender,a youthful exuberance
And so great a naïvely response to that nature call
In a resounding silence, I respond
Not to the soothing of the soul
But to damage of an already sore heart 
I now regret, but I then did not
"Crush" that is what the dictionary calls it
Withstanding my resistance, he puts it upon himself to keep trying
Against all odds, he keeps night for this daisy
Waiting for the right time to pluck
Before a prying eyes picks
In his waiting, a flood drives him away
For him to find his daisy missing on return
"Life must go on" he painfully murmured
And go on, he did


But just as master karma would predict, the daisy came calling... it was wrong timing!

                         
    

Friday, 22 May 2015

Be Happy

Be Happy

                                                                               Kell Hills & Eneri ©2015

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